Happiness in the present is only shattered by comparison with the past.
– Douglas Horton
I am lucky enough to be reaping the rewards of my hard work in a few areas of my life. I feel proud, excited and exuberant; everything I was/am working towards and for is coming true, my dreams were and are continuing to become my reality.
Yet I have an inner feeling that it’s still not enough. I’m not growing my business fast enough. I’m not pretty enough, skinny enough, popular enough. My inner mean girl is still to busy comparing my successes to what I perceive other people around me are achieving.
How is this possible? Everything I had ever wanted in my life is unfolding before my eyes, every day I receive news of something new and exciting that is happening, and I wake up in the morning excited for what the day will bring. Yet I still seemed to want to self sabotage myself. It is as though my inner self doesn’t want to allow my happiness.
Why do we compare ourselves to others when we should be living our own lives to the best of our capabilities? Why are we so quick to look from the outside in and judge; their life must be better? I know I’m not the only one who suffers this terrible habit, we all do it; things like cyber stalking your new guy’s or girl’s ex…to compare yourself and judge that person.
We need to keep that inner mean voice quiet and enjoy the successes we make. We are all on our own journeys and everything that is meant for you will come to you at the right time (this I truly believe).
What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Perhaps you weren’t ready for that huge career promotion, perhaps you aren’t ready to settle down. Focus on the now and all the things that are positive in your life; now. You have to do the work, every day, to not only create the success you dream of but the beautiful mind to be the very best you can be.
Always keep an attitude of gratitude and stop the comparison. The intriguing thing about comparison is that generally you are comparing yourself to a version of a person’s life that they portray to the world (social media is brilliant at this, everyone’s life looks perfect), and in reality, you have no real idea about what that persons difficulties are, where they have come from to get where they are or their life. In essence, you are comparing yourself to a perception. Nothing that is real. So stop now.
As I am building my business; comparison is definitely becoming a regular occurrence in my mind. With the advance of social media, facebook updates and letting the world know how your business is going, its tough not to compare.
I constantly have to stop. Just simply breathe and remember my ‘why’. I have to remind myself that I am doing this for me and I have already come so far, with a world of opportunities around me. Just as you should remind yourself, you are living your life for you. Everybody’s version of happiness is different. Do what makes you happy. A great body, a fancy car, or the perfect husband does not equal a life of happiness.
Stop comparing and just be happy. Acknowledge comparison as a bad habit. Acknowledge when you do it, how often you do it, and reflect on whats going on in your life that’s making you feel less than successful. Is there an open loop that you need to close? Something that is causing you unnecessary stress that can be resolved by just putting some energy into it?
Be true to yourself. Once you accept that you are different (and that difference is beautiful), you will be on the way to truly allowing yourself to be happy. Your life is yours. Everything that is in it or was, and is to be, is something you have created, whether good or bad, it’s YOURS and you are exactly where and doing what you are meant to be.
Set your own goals. Are you comparing yourself to other people because they look successful? No doubt they have set their own personal goals, working towards their dream. Just as you should. Stop wasting your precious time and energy, consuming your mind with what other people are up to, and instead. focus that energy on your goals, your plan – what do you want to achieve? Write it down and make it happen. Have weekly goals and commitments, monthly and quarterly, make them measurable and achievable.
Enjoy your own life without comparing that of another.
– Marquis de Condorcet
So today, I’m going to spend some time reflecting on my life, and being grateful for everything and everyone that is in it, for it is my life and I have created it. Because it’s purely mine and it’s priceless.
Love & light, Charlie x.